WARNING

If you ain’t a Rogue, STOP LOOKING AT THIS!

Greeting

The greeting they use identifies them to your rogue as a representative of a particular thieves’ guild.

Greeting CodeSpeaker’s IDGuild
Hey, girl, hey!Assassins’ GuildThe Noose
Look what the cat dragged inThugs / EnforcersThe Black Gauntlets
Yo hoPirates’ GuildCaptain Jeesea Sebastian Hetfield
(Rogue’s name) is that you?ForgersMadame Viatrix
What do we have here?SmugglersCaptain Jeesea Sebastian Hetfield
Ain’t you a sight for sore eyesTorturersThe Black Gauntlets
My, my, don’t that beat allGamblers / BookmakersMadame Viatrix
Random verbal greeting with big bear hug. See notePickpocketsLittle Lark
Well aren’t you a piece of workFencesSebastian Hetfield
Howdy PardnerRustlers / PoachersMadame Viatrix
(NPC’s name), at your serviceSlaversLittle Lark
Cheerio, old chapCon Artists (Upscale)Madame Viatrix
You got some fried potatoes to go with that Lamb Chop (female PC) or Beefcake (male PC)?Shysters, Flim-flams, Hustlers & cheap ConsMadame Viatrix
Hey, beautiful / Hey, handsomeMember of rival / hostile GuildAny Guild
‘Ello Guv’nor (with deep bow)Politicians’ LiaisonAny City/Guild
‘Ello Guv’nor (with mock salute)Military / Guards LiaisonBrugrove/Valonde
‘Ello Guv’nor (tips hat)Merchants’ Guild LiaisonSebastian Hetfield
‘Ello Guv’nor (pulls out cigarette, asks for light)Spies (official government)Little Lark / Madame Viatrix

Note: Pickpocket removes PC’s purse and replaces it in a different pocket. Either handwave this as done by an expert, or roll + 5 Dex + x2 proficiency vs. PC’s Wis (perception). If Pickpocket fails, let PC respond as they choose; that’s the risk a pickpocket takes.

Nostalgia

The exact phrasing does not matter. The important element is the time frame, which reflects the urgency of the message to follow.

ExampleUrgency
“I haven’t seen you in 6 monthsNot urgent / optional
“Wow, it’s been a few yearsLow urgency
“Can you believe it’s been over 10 years?”High urgency
“Seems like you left the village a lifetime agoExtreme urgency
“Gosh, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you”Utmost urgency / Not optional

Catching Up

The messenger mentions a relative of the PCs. There are two elements to this innocent statement. First, the specific relative mentioned identifies the source of the message or quest. Second, the tenor of the statement reflects the subtext of the message. The tone of the message may be friendly, neutral, or hostile.

Relation codeMessage sender
UncleGovernment official
Great UncleMonarch / Sovereign
Mother / FatherRogue’s superior in Guild
Grandmother / GrandfatherGuild Master
CousinRogue’s peer in Guild
Mother-in-law / Father-in-lawSuperior rank in allied Guild
Step-MotherMember of rival Guild
Great Grandmother / Great GrandfatherOver-Guild Official
Little brother / Little sisterGuild initiate
Puppy / KittenPC’s actual family member
Demented MurdererDM
Example of ToneImplication
“I was so sorry to hear about your Grandmother’s passing. What a tragedy.”(Hostile) Your Guildmaster is threatening to kill you if you botch this job
“Your Uncle has so many nieces and nephews, I don’t know how he remembers all your names”(Neutral) The government official can hire someone else if you don’t take the job
“Remember that time we shaved your Step-Mother’s chihuahua? That was funny. We were awful kids, she didn’t deserve that.”(Friendly) A member or official of a rival Guild pleads for your help. Perhaps they are willing to make peace, or claim previous hostility was due to a misunderstanding.

Chit-chat

This part can vary the most. It gives the nature of the job or message, as well as additional information such as identifying targets, cautions, or other parameters. If necessary, the relations listed above can be used again with the same meanings. For example, “Your uncle says don’t forget to wish your step-mother a happy birthday,” meaning “a government official wants you to assassinate a rival guild leader.”

CodeMeaning
BirthdayAssassination
Birthday PartyAssassination of multiple targets
Number of CandlesNumber of Targets
A small, intimate gatheringNo collateral damage; look like an accident
Celebration, Wingding, BlowoutThe larger the “party,” the bigger the splash
Party like it’s 999No survivors
Party plannerInside informant
Party invitationintel already gathered
Black tie / formalRogue must follow questgiver’s guidelines
Come as you are / informalRogue has discretion on methods
Family reunionGuildwar
VacationKidnapping
Family vacationmultiple kidnappings / hostage situation
Vacation postcardsransom demands
Vacation souvenirsproof of victim’s ID (e.g. signet ring or left big toe)
Ale runSmuggling contraband
Deliver packageSmuggling / delivering object
Special DeliverySmuggling live cargo
Marriage proposalIntimidate / threaten / blackmail
Dowrypayoff money
GossipRecon / spy / info gathering
Join the clubcovert infiltration
Farmgeneral money-making operation / heist
Vineyardhigh-stakes operation / heist, e.g. targeting a wealthy noble
Plantationrefers to long-term, multiple operations of entire Guild
RanchLarge scale operation, e.g. bilking an entire town
GreenhouseBank robbery
Grocery marketRob merchant
Window box / Planter / Garden patchsmall scale heist / con
Problem with rodents / worms / insectsspy or informant in the operation
Problem with rabbitsembezzler in the operation
Don’t tell. It’s a surprise.It’s ok to let other party members in on the job
Bring a dateGet backup (presumably other PCs) but keep them in the dark regarding the op
Invite your friendsif you tell them, you have to kill them
Give credit where credit is dueframe someone else for the crime
Signature / Signedreveal job originator to send a message

Enough about me, how are you?
The messenger would gladly skip payment info. Contract negotiation is much more favorable for the quest-giver after the job is done. If the PC neglects to ask for payment, it’s their own fault. They can ask and negotiate by inquiring about the Messenger’s family.
“How’s your little (tyke, baby girl, nephew, poodle, whatever)?” means “How much does the job pay?”
“Oh, he’s great. He’s 9 now.” In-game, the number indicates a range on a scale of 1 – 20 how much the quest-giver is offering. Mechanically, you can roll for the money portion of a CR 9 monster’s hoard (magic items NOT included).
“Really? I thought he was, like, 12.” or “So your older girl is 12, then?” This represents the PCs demand: I want level 12 payment for this job.
”Yeah, but junior will be 10 next month.” This is the messenger’s counter-offer: level 10 payment.

Do we have a deal?

CodeMeaning
Will I see you at the harvest festival (or any other hometown gathering) this year?Will you take the job?
Yes, I’ll be thereYes, I’ll be there
No, I am otherwise engagedNo, I am otherwise engaged
Give my regards to your GrannyA pox on thee, and your guild master as well
…and have your pets spayed or neuteredI’m going to spay and neuter your family members